The Key to Happiness

Are you happy? Do you love your life?

 

contented woman———

I can honestly say I am and I do. That does not mean I am perfect or trial free. I am still on planet earth learning, progressing, repenting, forgiving…everyday. However, the joy I do feel, the peace I have, and the closeness in my primary relationships is a far cry from the years I struggled to feel joy, faced depression and anxiety, felt like my trials might literally kill me and had no idea what to do about it. Let’s be clear that I had a testimony, I loved the Gospel, I had faith that my pleas for healing and happiness would be answered but I didn’t know how or when and I used to hurt everyday. So although I am still in “earth school” learning some pretty hard lessons I can say I am happy. I can say my prayers have been answered and the peace and healing I sought so fervently has come.

There is one key that made so much difference…and it can for you too!

Wherever you are, whatever you are facing the point of this life is to keep turning to Heavenly Father and our Savior (you know “come unto [Them]“) and let them heal us and make us whole.

One way I’ve learned to do that and really apply our Savior’s Atonement is by really understanding emotions and actually learning how to let Him bear my burdens Emotions are a funny thing. Positive emotions can be glorious and sometimes the sheer magnitude of negative emotions can feel like they might actually kill us! So often without realizing it we either stuff them or turn them off. Either way the negative ones are still in there doing their dirty work and stifling the good emotions. It seems counter intuitive to let them out and face them because we’ve been taught not to. We’ve been taught to grin and bear it, that that is faith,that we have to be grateful and not express negative feelings…and/or we may have been to counseling or talked to a trusted loved one which sometimes is really just venting, bringing up all the buried emotions and then feeling horrible about ourselves for admitting the deep dark feelings and not really getting tools to let them go so essentially we are just marinating in them. Ick. Or we suppress the anger, fear, regret (you fill in the right emotions for you) to the point they boil over unexpectedly and we hate ourselves and our emotions more. So we push them down deeper, feel anxiety, maybe vacate the pain through food (that’s what I did) or Facebook or tv or other addictions and we hurt. Yet we don’t understand why.

Christ said “Come unto me all ye that labour and are heavy laden and I will give you rest” Mathew 11:28. In fact He also said “my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” The more I turn to Him, the more I learn to let the ugly, painful emotions out (not to marinate in) but to truly give to Him, the more He heals me. He truly listens. He truly lets me say and feel all the anger, sorrow, fear, frustrations, helplessness, etc. I feel and He truly lets me give it to Him.


In fact Christ understands and forgives me

and loves me anyways!

And He feels the same for you.

————–

It’s not like we’re actually hiding the thoughts and emotions from Him anyways! But when we stuff them and try to ignore them they are literally killing us and in a way we are denying the healing grace of the Atonement He so lovingly made for us. Yet when we acknowledge the negative feelings and thoughts, let them up and out and give them to the Savior. He can actually help us do something about them. He can actually heal our pain! Plus, when we courageously get on our knees and really tell Heavenly Father how we are feeling (aka really let the trapped emotions out) not only can we be succored (which by the way means Christ runs to us and comforts us) but it clears space in our hearts to feel the love and joy and peace (aka positive emotions) we seek.

 

christ loves us———-

He does love YOU. He can heal you. Even though I’d always been a disciple and believed in Him, I had to learn how to let Him heal me and believe Him that He actually would.

You can too.

From there I had to learn how to discern if my thoughts and emotions were really even true…but that’s another article. Start here. Practice giving Him your pain on a deeper level. If you really need to know more now or need help look into my mentoring programs or schedule a free mentoring session with one of my Joyful Life Coaches by replying to this email with your name and phone number.

The Power of Gratitude

Gratitude. It’s everywhere this month, people posting daily on facebook, pondering what are we thankful for this season. But do you truly get the power of gratitude? Are you aware of what this tool can do in your life? Read on because gratitude….can change everything.

grateful

I was mentoring a mom who had been struggling for over 2 decades with depression, relationship conflict, low self worth and more. Like many women on the outside it looked like she had a great life and family, but inside she hurt everyday. As we talked a ongoing conflict with her son came up. He was in his late teens and things had been going downhill for several years. He was making serious choices that were not only life threatening and illegal, like drug use, they were not in line with the family’s values and religious views and this mom was heart broken. Their relationship had deteriorated to constant conflict and contention. She was at a loss what to do. It was actually beginning to tear apart the family and take over her every waking thought.

Enter gratitude. I asked her to tell me something good about her son, some redeeming quality. She was caught off guard and frankly you could hear crickets in the silence on her end of the phone. I kept encouraging and finally she said, “Well despite everything, he is really good to his sister.” “Good,” I replied, “and?…. ” It took many minutes but slowly she began to see her son as her son again and more than just a heartbreaking, contentious rule breaker. They had been in battle so long and so hard it was all she could see. But as she used gratitude to see some good in him it removed her from the eye of the storm just enough that she could come up for air and reassess the situation. Gratitude, combined with the other tools I taught her,  gave her the presence of mind and softened her heart enough to begin to associate with her son in a new light and approach her concerns from a less combative way and consequently he responded likewise. They had been locked in battle and neither one would back down but just a few minutes using the powerful tool of gratitude set them on an entirely new course where they eventually found peace and common ground again and in the place she could actually have the influence that escaped her when locked in the power struggle.

This can work when we are down, overwhelmed, fighting with a spouse or child, anything. 

     True To The Faith counsels that, “The Lord has promised, “He who receiveth all things with thankfulness shall be made glorious”(D&C 78:19). Gratitude is an uplifting, exalting attitude. You can probably say from experience that you are happier when you have gratitude in your heart. You cannot be bitter, resentful, or mean-spirited when you are grateful.” (page 78)


Gratitude is a powerful gift that immediately lifts our spirits and changes our perspective.  Try it right now!  Consider your current emotions. Then think of 10 things you are grateful for.  Now how do you feel?  Want to make it even more life changing? Next time you are down, angry, overwhelmed, or in a conflict with someone think of 10 things you are grateful for in general or about that person or situation. It can change your heart and perspective so you can move forward more happily and lovingly.

So what’s the power of gratitude? Quite simply…it can change everything for the better!

For more principles and tools that will heal your heart and homes and help you live joyfully everyday join me for the next Joyful Life Academy or set up a free consultation.

Is it okay to be angry at God?

My teenage daughter is visiting her dear friend who’s little brother was killed in an accident just a few days ago. The family has great faith that their loved one is with God. I agree, yet that doesn’t mean the days ahead will be easy.  As my daughter asked me how she can help her friend and show her love and support we talked a little about the emotions her friend will go through in the days ahead.  Will anger be one of them and is that okay?

Have you ever felt angry at God? I have. Sometimes we may think that makes us bad or lacking faith yet judging and criticizing our selves for how we feel does not make the anger go away it just compounds the shame and guilt we feel, which just separates us further from Heavenly Father. What if instead we just told Him how we felt, maybe even yelled at Him? What if instead we let the emotion, that frankly He already knows is there, out?

Consider this, the death of a young child is tragic. Yes, we know He is with God yet the child’s parents still ache to hold him one more time. Or what of the wife whose husband has been unfaithful? The woman who was brutally abused as a child, the mother who’s children are wayward, the woman at church who looks “perfect” and happy yet silently considers suicide because she feels like a failure? These are real examples of women I’ve had the opportunity to mentor and help find healing in Christ. In each situation there is faith that God is real, that He does love us and there is a plan. Each situation also holds confusion, fear, anger and heartache.  What if instead of judging and burying that fear we let it out to God. What if we told Him and let the pain and anguish purge from our hearts leaving a space for Him to flood in with His love and healing? Not for the sake of blaming and hating Him but in a trusting child way of “I am angry! This isn’t fair and I don’t understand, nevertheless I trust thee, please hold me and show me the way.”

Pain is a very real part of this earth “school”. So are healing and joy and faith! I don’t know why some of us face trials and pain others do not, yet I know they have their own, they just might not be as publicly seen. Yet I do know with all my heart and mind that God is real, He is good, He has a plan and He wants to make us whole. Sometimes our part is to get the anger and pain out of the way so there is a space for His healing and solace.

It’s not what happened to us but the belief we created that hurts!

Do you hurt?  Of course you do! You are human, you are on earth, you’ve been hurt, had your heart broken, commitments unfulfilled, been betrayed maybe even abused.

I’m about to tell you something that you may not like at first but please let me explain.

itsnotwahthappened

Now, be assured I am not discounting your trials and suffering, in fact I honor you and your courage to keep trying everyday AND I want to share with you a perspective that may help you heal and experience more joy and love in your life no matter what you’ve been through!

May I please tell you about two women, both are real and true stories. The first women lived a rich and full life. She was confident, happy and successful. The second woman seemed to have everything she wanted or needed, a loving family, security; yet she hurt. She struggled with depression, feeling lovable and experiencing any joy or pleasure.   As it turned out the first woman had been brutally raped and beaten as a young adult. Shortly after this horrible experience she consciously decided that she would not carry fear or pain from this trauma. In fact in the face of emotions of feeling unsafe, unclean and unwanted she choose to see herself as a survivor and to not let the experience define her life in a negative way. In fact she dedicated her life to teaching women and girls how to keep themselves safe and be truly happy.  The second woman it turns out grew up in a loving home with most of her needs met, yet once in a while as a child her mother did tell her to stand up straight. “You’re such a pretty girl, dear” her mother would say. “Don’t slouch”. Nearing 40, this second woman who struggled to feel good enough and lovable realized that from this childhood experience she had accepted the belief that her own mother couldn’t love her and she was even valuable enough to stand up straight. The pain of this belief had caused her to withdraw, not accept the love of her husband and children and eventually become overwhelmed with depression and despair. I think most would agree that if we compared what actually happened to each woman that rape is much more traumatizing than being told to stand up straight. (Now I realize and agree that emotional abuse can be devastating, I am not saying it isn’t. Words have lasting effect.  I am suggesting in this true example that rape was more traumatic than being told not to slouch.)  My point is it was not what happened to each woman that hurt and effected the rest of their life, but rather the belief they attached to what happened!

andthegoodnewsis

The second woman can identify the thoughts and beliefs of not being good enough or lovable and choose not to believe them anymore!  She (and you) are a Divine Daughter of a Perfect God who does not make mistakes!  He didn’t mess up when He created you! She can ask herself 1-Is her belief that she’s not good enough absolutely true?  NO!  2- How does she feel when she believes it is true? Depressed, hopeless, powerless, despair, withdraws…… 3- How would she feel without that belief?  Free, happy, whole!

I have mentored women who have lived through devastating childhood abuse, spouses with addictions, extremely low self worth, years of depression and anxiety and much more  and have helped them lasting find peace and joy. We begin by asking these life changing questions.  My favorite question of all “Who is telling you that you are not good enough, unlovable, etc.?  God or Satan?”

I’m not trying to trivialize our struggles and the very real traumas we experience on this earth, yet Christ’s Atonement is real! Healing is possible!  We were created to learn, overcome and be joyful!  Not to suffer, hurt and hang on by our fingernails while we wonder why joy is for everyone else but us! It is for us too! You, me, all of us and if we’ll identify the belief that is the source of the pain, i.e. “I’m not safe, lovable, worthy, good enough”(you fill in the blank) and let Christ and His Atonement heal it and replace it with the truth that you are His and He made you good enough, worthy, lovable, capable, powerful, etc., joy and healing will begin to replace the fear, doubt, despair and pain!

Give it a try, what have you got to lose?

Do you ever feel broken?

Do you ever feel unworthy, not good enough, like you try and try and nothing seems to go your way?  Maybe you flat out believe you are unlovable or happiness is for everyone else.  Deep down do you fear you might be broken and you hope you’ll find someone or something will fix you? 

You are not the only one.   In fact think about the world we live in. Advertisements, magazines, gurus, entire tv shows, etc. are dedicated to  speaking to that inner belief you are broken and offering ways to fix you. There are plenty of sources willing to tell you who and how to be.  

Also we are trained to focus on the problem and that if we just had more money, were thinner, would think positive or if “so and so” (filled in your loved ones name) would just do or be “such and such” (fill in the requirement) then we’d be happy and everything would be okay.

Then why are so many people hurting? Why do you hurt?

Because the initial premise, you are broken, is flat out wrong! It’s a lie! Oh, I know it feels true! Believe me because  I too  once believed I was broken and searched frantically for the thing that would fix me.

The truth is YOU ARE NOT BROKEN!  You may hurt, you may have very strong beliefs that cause you pain, like “I’m not good enough.” You may have very painful and confusing life experiences that you don’t seem to be able to reconcile or heal from. You may not know about the tools and principles of healing, thriving and joy, BUT you are not broken. Why? Because 

 

 

We can make poor choices, we can be hurt, we can possibly not understand, but the bottom line God does not make mistakes and He made you!  I hurt for a long time, most of my life really, and as I kept turning to God, trusting Him, learning how to heal, learning how to be joyful as He promised, learning the principle of joy, peace, clarity and connection and choosing to live them my whole life changed!  Every hurt I ever had healed and ever dream I’ve ever dreamt has or is coming true!

Don’t believe me? Don’t believe you are not broken but just might not know some stuff that will bring you the joy and healing you dream of?  What would you tell her?

 

You are not broken!  I know you hurt. I know you may be  giving it your all and are just not sure what else to try, I’ve been there too. Start with believing you are precious and all you hope for is real and possible!

And if you are ready to really heal and thrive I’d love to show you how!  I won’t fix you but I will help you learn the tools and principles to thriving in all areas of your life whether it be money, self-worth, relationships, health, whatever your pain I can help you learn how to heal and discover the joy you were made to feel!

You take care of everyone else..but who’s taking care of you?

When we get on an airplane we receive safety instructions. Among them are the instructions of what to do with a child in case it becomes necessary to use the oxygen masks. Very clearly the instructions state that we put on our mask first, then help our child put on theirs. The obvious reason is that if we assist our child or children first we may pass out before we get ours on then we are no help to anyone, especially our child; whereas if we put on our mask first we will be capable of assisting and protecting our child and others around us.

 

So do you put on your oxygen mask first in day to day life or are you like most people who run around taking care of everyone and everything else while you barely have energy, let alone peace?

I know, I think we’ve all been guilty of it. Filling everyone else’s proverbial bucket when in reality our bucket has very little in it. So this is not about guilt or accusation, this is about asking ourselves the question, “Is it working?”

Seriously. Sometimes in life we are so sure that it’s just the way it is, it’s what everyone does or what is expected of us that we fail to actually stop and ask ourselves is what we are doing working? Are we getting the desired result?

In an airplane emergency our obvious desired result is the safety and well being of our children and ourselves and the way to achieve that is to put on our oxygen mask first!

Think for a moment, if you will, what you hope for in life. What are your hopes and dreams? If you do have children what kinds of lives do you want them to grow up to have? Joy? Love? Stability? Happy marriages, close relationships, financial success, health? So whatever you dream of for them, are you living it? Are you showing them how? Are you modeling those things for them? And about your dreams? Is your reality close or are you at least moving toward them?

Let me ask it this way, would you want your child to grow up and feel like you do everyday? Stressed, frazzled, alone, maybe even worthless? Running, like the energizer bunny to meet everyone’s needs and make everything perfect for everyone?

The answer is in the oxygen mask. Ironically we all somehow got the message that if we’ll do and be what everyone else needs then we’ll be happy. We’ll feel fulfilled and important. They’ll feel loved. So it is working for you? I know it wasn’t working for me and it isn’t working for the women I mentor.

So what does work? How do we find peace and joy and show our loved ones how to also? We put on our oxygen mask first. We stop trying to find fulfillment and worth outside ourselves. It’s only inside us and in my experience it begins with a deeper connection with God. Learning who He says we are.

Think of Christ’s example. He took care of more needs and people than anyone else who ever lived. And yet was He stressed and frazzled and overwhelmed? No. He showed us the key. He put on His oxygen mask first. He had absolute clarity about who He was; He took time to connect with His Father; He was filled and strong, then He went out to serve.

There are specific principles to living with peace and joy, to being full of love and sharing it, to thriving rather than surviving. I know because I’ve done it myself, I’ve tried both ways of being. I also mentor women everyday in learning how to put on their oxygen masks first. So often we focus on the kids, or the finances or the marriage and they don’t get fixed. But if we’ll do all things in wisdom and order, if we’ll focus on being whole ourselves, our relationship with God, healing our insecurities and fears, learning to discipline and properly guide our thoughts, discovering our personal power, learning and applying the principles of peace, joy and connection that is when our entire lives change for the better. That is when our dreams come true, our marriages heal, our children flock to us in love and laughter, our finances and health improve. There are simple laws of nature and when we discover and apply them we are happy, connected, and we become who we were born to be.

“Men are that they might have joy”…not someday if you work hard enough and are lucky… NOW.

 

The source of all your pain

I had a very interesting, turned beautiful, experience with my teenage daughter tonight. We were in conflict. She had not followed through, which created a logistical problem, and I was frustrated. It led to a conversation of several areas she was dropping the ball and how this was unlike her. Her pain increased as we spoke and she finally blurted out several thoughts she had spinning around in her brain for months. Among them was “You took away my cell phone because you don’t trust me”, “No one likes me” and “I just don’t matter around here.”

Have you ever heard these or even felt something similar yourself? Me too. In fact that is the source of our pain, believing these thoughts.  Stay with me for a minute.

I began with the first one, my daughters belief “You took away my cell phone because you don’t trust me”. I asked her how that felt to think that. She said it hurt, she was frustrated because she was trustworthy and sometimes it made her feel unloved. I asked her how she acted because of this thought and she began to see how she was resentful, withdrew at times and occasionally didn’t obey because she was mad at us. Then I asked her if that thought, “You took away my cell phone because you don’t trust me”, was true. She was surprised but guessed it actually wasn’t. I asked her how she felt now and her pain had gone away about that.

We did the same exercise on each of her thoughts. She began to see how as she believed she wasn’t very important in our family it led to her being mean sometimes or not engaging. She recognized how her fear of not fitting in with friends caused her behavior to be exaggerated sometimes and how when she worried about being liked she didn’t seem to fit in and was always on guard whereas times she was just herself she had a great time and people wanted to be around her.

The examples go on and on but the bottom line is for the last several months my daughter had been having a variety of thoughts and was believing all of them and most of them were causing her pain. The reality was we totally trust her and choosing for our kids not to have cell phones had nothing to do with trusting her; people actually really like her; and of course she matters in our family.

Her thoughts were actually the source of her pain. It’s true for all of us. As soon as she questioned her thoughts she was able to see another possibility.

So how does this apply to you? Consider one of your dominant thoughts. Maybe it’s one of these that I hear often from mentoring clients: “I have to take care of everything, no one else will.” “I never have enough time or money.” “No one understands me.” or “I’m afraid I really am just not good enough.” Whatever your thought is I know it feels true and I know there is even a lot of proof it’s true but ask yourself how does believing this thought feel? How do you act when you believe this thought? What results does it get you? Can you absolutely know for sure it is true? And my personal favorite… “How would you feel without that thought?”

You see we all have a lifetime of experiences telling us who we are and how we should be, yet we tend to grab hold of the negative ones and believe those when in truth those are who we are not. Consider someone who was abused. Commonly they would deal with feeling unsafe, not lovable and even unwanted, even if they stopped the abuse and chose to themselves be loving parents. We often grab the negative about what happened to us and let it define us when in reality the truth about that person would more likely be they are brave, powerful, forgiving and a force for good in their family line. They overcame, survived and created an entirely new reality. That is actually the truth!

If we are hurting it’s a sign we’re believing a thought that just is not serving us…and the great news is we can simply choose a new thought and believe that and “poof” our pain goes away and our reality changes for the better!

Give it a try, what have you got to lose? Oh yeah…pain!

Who’s running your life?

We all know there are an infinite amount of sources willing to tell us who we are, how we should be and what to do.

 

the list goes on and on.

And let’s not forget the Adversary, I mean bringing us down is his ultimate goal.

So we should be a certain height, live in a certain house, have 3.2 kids, be a size 2,  serve on the PTA, be a classroom mom or maybe be entirely in charge by home-schooling, exercise, serve entirely organic, perfectly healthy and yet exciting to the kids meals, have a perfectly clean and adorably decorated home, blog, Facebook, pinterest, serve at a variety of charities, fulfill several church callings – perfectly- with doilies  date our spouse, maybe help provide income or run a business, Dr.’s appointments, library trips, carpools, play dates….AHHHHHH! Just making the list is stressing me out!

One thing is for sure, the first option is stressful, unfulfilling and frankly just impossible! Think about it, if you are really trying to please everyone else and gain their approval and your husband says you are beautiful and he loves your curves but your mom keeps encouraging you to lose a few pounds- who are you going to listen to? If your kids keep asking for your attention but your “upline” or boss keep asking for more sales- who are you going to please? The deal is it’s an unwinnable game! The entire race is set up for you to fail. You can’t possibly please everyone and honestly some of the “voices” contradict each other!

One more, if your heart tells you you are good enough and frankly amazing yet everything around you tells you you need to do and be more- which are you going to listen to? Because it’s not just your heart, it’s your God, who loves you and wants you to be happy and not just someday, NOW!

He’s the only one we need to please, He’s the only one we need to listen to and He’s the only one who knows who we are and what we should do. Get to know Him and let Him run your life and you’ll be happy!

 

The myth of “protecting ourselves”

So is 2013 going to be your best year ever? I told you I had more ideas of how to get unstuck and moving toward the peace and joy you were born for! So here’s another life changing perspective…if you’ll apply it!

Have you ever been hurt? Betrayed, let down, used? Have you ever had your heart broken? Or had someone you trusted implicitly to take care of you do something horrible? Yeah, me too. I imagine we all have in one way or another, maybe in really tragic ways. We all know pain and disappointment on some level.  Even if you’ve forgiven, which I hope you have, you remember the heartache.

Something interesting happens when we get hurt. Often we don’t even realize it happens but I’ve seen it over and over as I help people learn to live with peace and joy. Little by little we close off our hearts. It can take many forms such as numbing our emotions, ignoring our feelings, brushing it off, or just flat out refusing to trust or be vulnerable again. All in the name of “protecting ourselves”from further hurt or pain. But the truth is we still hurt, in fact these self protective measures, in of themselves, hurt.

Let me share a true story. It could apply to so many of us, and to ANY relationship, but here’s her story. There was a woman. She was wife and mother with a good life, success, blessings…Yet she’d been hurt. Just like you there’d been childhood pains, learning to trust and love, learning to love herself and she was making great progress until the person she loved most sinned. While she tried to love and support husband she also felt betrayed and devastated. She turned to her Heavenly Father, her best friend, and her mentor. Her husband got help, they even sought marriage mentoring. As the months passed her husband repented and healed. She forgave, sincerely and often. In short, they made it through. In fact their marriage actually became better than ever in many ways, yet something still wasn’t quite right. As the months went on this woman noticed she only loved and opened herself up to a certain extent. She held back just a little in small almost unnoticeable ways but she realized she was holding back nonetheless. Holding back her full love, her full connection with him, full openness and vulnerability that creates true unity and connection in a marriage. As she and I spoke she began to see the walls she had built around herself, she began to acknowledge the fear she’d developed of ever being hurt again, she began to be honest about the pain and fear she still held inside. She begun to be honest about the price she paid for that pain and fear.

You see she was the one still hurting. The “walls” and “protection mechanisms” didn’t actually keep her safe. They wouldn’t actually save her from pain if her husband sinned again! If he did sin again it would still hurt, but while he was there loving her all her self protection habits were actually hurting her, right then! Pain and fear hurt. End of story. Any time we withdraw, cut ourselves off from love, withhold love or anything else it hurts! There is actually a 100% guarantee of pain! And the ironic thing is what we think we are creating is safety and love! The truth is safety and love cannot be created from pain and fear, it’s not even possible.

So what are we vulnerable humans to do? Love! Love anyways! Love despite the human frailties and weaknesses around us. Here’s the deal, (I’ll tell you what I told this sweet woman that frankly changed everything for the good for her as she had the faith to give it a try), remember how I said that pain and fear of more pain are a 100% guarantee for pain? Yet what we really want is connection and love? Well

 the only way to get connection and love is to put down the pain

and fear and be vulnerable, to truly connect.

 

BUT WAIT! That might hurt too! Yep, it might. Fear and closing ourselves off bring a 100% guarantee we’ll hurt and feel lonely and unloved. BUT if we open ourselves back up, if we are vulnerable and love again it’s true we may get hurt again, but we may also find love and connection. We may also find joy. In fact, that’s the only possibility for joy, happiness, bliss. At least when we open ourselves up and love and feel fully we might just get exactly what we want.

 

Okay, if this post applies to you you most likely don’t like what I just said! In fact your heart may even be racing and your brain screaming “What the heck is this crazy lady saying!?” A small disclaimer: if you are being beaten, etc. I am not saying go back and “love” and get beaten more. Or any other such application. I am saying as we go through life and experience disappoints and pain we can close off without really realizing it and that in and of itself is painful. If we’ll be honest about ways we’ve shut off our emotions or closed ourselves off and choose to open ourselves back up healing can begin. We are all human, we all make mistakes, we all sin and sometimes we hurt those we love. I know I have. But if we’ll practice giving each other room to be human and learn and grow and just try to love each other through it frankly we feel peace and comfort because that’s what Christ does for us. And really aren’t we all just trying to be more like Him?

Oh and as for the end of the story…they lived happily ever after! Really. As she chose to open her heart practiced trusting and fully giving and receiving love from her husband again she found a marital union and connection better than she’d ever dreamed of!

 

What will the new year bring you?

This time of year we naturally review the last year and set resolutions for the next.  We make our lists, set our goals, the gyms are all full…but by February we seem to have forgotten our new resolutions and are back to the daily grind.  Sound familiar? I know, I’ve done it to.

So will 2013 be different for you?   If you really want 2013 to be better, try evaluating the key areas of your life.  How is your marriage? Your joy? Parenting? Relationships? Finances? Health? Spirituality? Take a moment to consider the key areas of your life. What is working, what is not. Are you okay with how things are?  Then consider how each area was a year ago. Have you progressed? Maybe things have gotten worse.

We cannot change what we won’t acknowledge, but if we’ll be honest about how things are and what direction they are headed that can actually give us the motivation to do something about it! 

The truth is…

 

Now consider how you’d like the key areas and relationships in your life to be.  Dream big!  What would your ideal marriage be like?  Your ideal emotional state?  What are your financial dreams?  What do you want your life to look like one year from now?  Five years? Ten?


 

Joy and success are never accidental!  They are always intentional!

What are you doing to increase your joy, your peace, deepen your relationships  or solve your current struggles? I’ll type it again….The only way to have something different is to do something different!  If you want different results, you must take action! Before you can take positive action you have to know where you are and where you want to go. If you haven’t seen it yet here’s a free, short video for you…5 Keys to Peace and Joy Everyday.

You were created to have joy! Happiness can be yours. Rich, meaningful relationships can be yours. Peace can be yours!

Choose it and go get it!

Do something different today!

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If marriage is one of the areas you’d like to improve in your life then join me for Joyful Life Academy in January as we focus on creating the marriage of your dreams no matter it’s current state! If you are ready to create powerful healing and joy in every area of your life contact me to see if one on one mentoring is right for you!