It’s not what happened to us but the belief we created that hurts!

Do you hurt?  Of course you do! You are human, you are on earth, you’ve been hurt, had your heart broken, commitments unfulfilled, been betrayed maybe even abused.
I’m about to tell you something that you may not like at first but please let me explain.

itsnotwahthappened

Now, be assured I am not discounting your trials and suffering, in fact I honor you and your courage to keep trying everyday AND I want to share with you a perspective that may help you heal and experience more joy and love in your life no matter what you’ve been through!

May I please tell you about two women, both are real and true stories. The first women lived a rich and full life. She was confident, happy and successful. The second woman seemed to have everything she wanted or needed, a loving family, security; yet she hurt. She struggled with depression, feeling lovable and experiencing any joy or pleasure.   As it turned out the first woman had been brutally raped and beaten as a young adult. Shortly after this horrible experience she consciously decided that she would not carry fear or pain from this trauma. In fact in the face of emotions of feeling unsafe, unclean and unwanted she choose to see herself as a survivor and to not let the experience define her life in a negative way. In fact she dedicated her life to teaching women and girls how to keep themselves safe and be truly happy.  The second woman it turns out grew up in a loving home with most of her needs met, yet once in a while as a child her mother did tell her to stand up straight. “You’re such a pretty girl, dear” her mother would say. “Don’t slouch”. Nearing 40, this second woman who struggled to feel good enough and lovable realized that from this childhood experience she had accepted the belief that her own mother couldn’t love her and she was even valuable enough to stand up straight. The pain of this belief had caused her to withdraw, not accept the love of her husband and children and eventually become overwhelmed with depression and despair. I think most would agree that if we compared what actually happened to each woman that rape is much more traumatizing than being told to stand up straight. (Now I realize and agree that emotional abuse can be devastating, I am not saying it isn’t. Words have lasting effect.  I am suggesting in this true example that rape was more traumatic than being told not to slouch.)  My point is it was not what happened to each woman that hurt and effected the rest of their life, but rather the belief they attached to what happened!

andthegoodnewsis

The second woman can identify the thoughts and beliefs of not being good enough or lovable and choose not to believe them anymore!  She (and you) are a Divine Daughter of a Perfect God who does not make mistakes!  He didn’t mess up when He created you! She can ask herself 1-Is her belief that she’s not good enough absolutely true?  NO!  2- How does she feel when she believes it is true? Depressed, hopeless, powerless, despair, withdraws…… 3- How would she feel without that belief?  Free, happy, whole!

I have mentored women who have lived through devastating childhood abuse, spouses with addictions, extremely low self worth, years of depression and anxiety and much more  and have helped them lasting find peace and joy. We begin by asking these life changing questions.  My favorite question of all “Who is telling you that you are not good enough, unlovable, etc.?  God or Satan?”

I’m not trying to trivialize our struggles and the very real traumas we experience on this earth, yet Christ’s Atonement is real! Healing is possible!  We were created to learn, overcome and be joyful!  Not to suffer, hurt and hang on by our fingernails while we wonder why joy is for everyone else but us! It is for us too! You, me, all of us and if we’ll identify the belief that is the source of the pain, i.e. “I’m not safe, lovable, worthy, good enough”(you fill in the blank) and let Christ and His Atonement heal it and replace it with the truth that you are His and He made you good enough, worthy, lovable, capable, powerful, etc., joy and healing will begin to replace the fear, doubt, despair and pain!

Give it a try, what have you got to lose?

 

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