Have you ever prayed intently for something but also really struggled to believe in it and possibly even worried it won’t happen?
I’ve always been deeply touched by the story in the Bible in Mark 9 of the Father who brought his son to Jesus to be healed. His son had suffered his whole life. The family had worried and worked to keep him safe saying even keeping him from thrashing into the fire. Constant vigilance was needed and their deep love and desire for healing for their child was evident. Jesus asked do you believe? His reply, “Yea Lord I believe. Help thou my unbelief.”I get this. I get loving a child so deeply and pleading for their healing. And fighting within myself of believing it can happen and being terrified it won’t.
Is it possible that worry is a form of prayer? Is it possible that we can get our knees and plead and pray with so much faith, with all our hearts so sincerely for a specific outcome AND also get up and struggle with worrying and fearing it may not happen. Could worry and fear also be a form of prayer inadvertently? Which prayer does God answer? Which one holds more emotional charge for us? How do we let Him help our unbelief, worry and fear?
I have found a few questions very helpful to ask myself to discharge the worry and fear and fortify my faith.When the worry and fear are strong there is something driving that. When we can discover what that is we can handle it and open up space for the faith and peace to prevail.
1- Answer the “what if?”
If there is fear and worry, there is almost always a “what if”question involved in our mind. What if it doesn’t work? What if they don’t heal? What if this never ends? Figuring out the “what if” your mind is battling will give you a massive amount of information of what you are really scared of. Answering it is empowering. You see a “what if” unanswered is powerful and looming and unknown and huge and overwhelming! However, answering it disempowers all that intense energy and help start breaking it up into bite size pieces. Often just answering the “what if” is enough for us to take a breath and see things more clearly. Scientifically, this exercise actually moves the blood from the amygdala which it’s freaking out (fight or flight) to the prefrontal cortex where it can actually problem solve and think clearly. Answer the “what if” and notice how much it calms your worry and fear.
2-Ask yourself what is the worst case scenario?
This is another powerful question to help you figure out what it is you are really afraid of. This happened recently as I was worrying about one of my adult daughters. I realized ultimately the deep fear driving my worry was that I might lose her and we would not be an eternal family. No wonder I was so worried! Being an eternal family is so important to me and seeing her struggles and realizing ultimately I was afraid of losing her brought everything into perspective. I was able to have deep compassion for myself and for her and then I was able to actually pray about that with Heavenly Father and work out my feelings there and feel his comfort and reassurance and remember promises He is already made to me about the outcome of her struggles. The peace I needed came and I was able to stop worrying and stay in faith.
3-Is there possibly some perceived benefit to your worry?
Now by this question I mean a perceived benefit to your subconscious. Logically we know there are no benefits to worry. And we are counseled repeatedly not to fear. But remember our subconscious wants to keep us safe and it is driving our results and outcomes in life. Sometimes it can get ideas like that worry somehow gives us control over the situation. Or if we try hard enough that we can actually control the outcome. Or maybe worry keeps us from having to face and do something we really need to do that feels scary.
Some real examples of these mixed up perceived benefits from real clients:
“If I just worry and do everything myself I won’t have to say no to anyone so they won’t be mad at me.”
“I can’t trust others to do the right thing so I have to handle it myself.”
“It’s not safe to have my own needs or take time for myself.”
“A good mom takes care of everyone and everything.”
When we can get curious about possible ways are worrying fear might be “benefiting” us or fulfilling a subconscious belief we are then empowered to make changes for more peace and emotional health and well-being in our lives.
The bottom line is fear and worry are driven by something. Discovering what is driving them and healing and changing that is far more powerful than just wishing or trying to positive think our way out of the fear and worry. That can be exhausting. Having the courage to get to the root of the worry and fear empowers you to change it and peace takes its place.
And don’t we all want more peace?
If we’re in fear I struggle for you here are a few more thoughts on “what if?” https://www.livingthejoyfullife.com/LIVINGTHEJOYFULLIFE/can-you-tame-the-monster-in-your-mind/
If you deal with worry and fear you are not alone and you can overcome it. Give the above suggestions a try. Also please reach out and schedule a free consultation to discuss how I can help you l overcome that for good. https://www.livingthejoyfullife.com/LIVINGTHEJOYFULLIFE/sessions/